23 Apr Yes, there is a kinder way to tell someone they’re fired
You have an under-performing employee and it’s time to let them go. What’s the best way to deliver the news?
An employee steals something or is caught in a terrible lie. It’s clearly time to sack them. But what about a worker who hasn’t made an egregious mistake?
Before you sack someone, make sure that you have done everything possible as a manager to develop their skills
What if someone isn’t an untruthful or malicious person but just doesn’t have the right skills or aptitude for the role, is the wrong fit, or needs to be let go due to layoffs? Are there particular words or times that are better than others to deliver the news? And is there anything you can do to soften the blow?
Firing someone is “never easy because [it] impacts individuals, families, workplaces and communities,” said Chicago-based global executive leadership coach Alicia Bassuk in an email. But she said sometimes it’s just inevitable.
Do the right thing
Before you sack someone, make sure that you have done everything possible as a manager to develop their skills, said Bassuk. And, consult human resources to ensure you’re following the right process.
“If it seems like ‘they don’t get it’, then they probably don’t,” she said. “Give them the benefit of the doubt that if they had that skill, they would be using it. Teach them that skill by taking the time to mentor them through it step-by-step with your full attention.”
If things still aren’t working out, then it will be clear that it is time to part ways. That way, “you can sleep well at night knowing you did the right thing,” said Bassuk.
What versus how
For a lot of managers, getting rid of an employee is very stressful and not something they are skilled at doing. But it’s important to remember that there is a difference between “what you do and how you do it,” according to Robert Sutton, author of Good Boss, Bad Boss and a Stanford University professor of management science and engineering. “It is important to help people understand why it is necessary,” he said, “that it’s justifiable, not just a crazy leader doing it.”
It is important to help people understand why it is necessary
One of the worst parts of losing a job is the loss of control one feels, said Sutton. While you might not be able to give a worker control over whether they lose their job, they can be involved with figuring out how the process unfolds, “the when and how they go,” he said.
Behaviour problems
Even if the reason for being fired relates to the employee’s behaviour, don’t use the meeting as an opportunity to blame them. “It may be tempting to do so and to say everything you always wanted to say. This can be seen as justification and you do not have to justify yourself,” said Jorg Stegemann, head of Kennedy Executive Search with offices in Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Frankfurt, London, Milan, Paris and Prague.
By the time you get to this meeting, there should already be well-documented evidence that the person isn’t working out in the position. “If something goes wrong, always keep a written trace (record) and not just a verbal one,” said Stegemann.
He recommends sending emails that clearly document the problems. For example: “You have come late to work for the second time this week. This jeopardises the production and results of the team. Please make sure you arrive on time or we will have to take disciplinary actions. You are a loyal employee and we count on you.” This way, “the employee cannot say ‘I did not know’,” said Stegemann.
Keep it short and sweet